I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
