And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
