i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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