no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
