k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
