I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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