the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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