it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
