I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
