you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
