Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We need a shit load of segways right now
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
