New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
whose ass print is on the piano?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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