Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
