literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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