Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
