the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
