Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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