I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
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She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
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Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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