she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
