I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
