.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
