this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
