i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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