NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
