How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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