youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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