but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
