woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Text me some of your sweat
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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