I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
