i wish peter jackson would direct porn
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
