I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
