just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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