mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
