After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize