this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
