How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize