hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
