Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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