pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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