So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
