Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
