i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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