You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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