There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well I just put wine in my tea
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
