i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
where are you?
Hypothermia
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
