What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
