come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
