look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
