U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
