I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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