The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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