What a fucking waste of an outfit
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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