he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
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could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
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No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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