Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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