wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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