I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
