One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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