Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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