somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
