I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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