his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
