I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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