You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
