I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
