I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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