Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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