I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
